Such a good baby

People often comment how we have such a "good baby" and how "lucky" we are to not have any problems.  The reason why we do so well with our daughter is because we did research.  Lots and lots of research.  While we had planned for a natural birth in a birthing tub at a birth center, it didn't end up that way.  So I can honestly tell you that you can have a "good baby" with a medicated hospital birth.  Want to know the number one secret?  Skin to Skin contact.  It's simple, takes almost no effort and who doesn't want to cuddle their baby?  Here's my top list.

• Right after birth, the baby should go to your chest.  This helps keep the baby warm and recognize you as the mother.  You can skip the bathing, washing  removes your scent and can cause confusion.  Babies aren't dirty, they don't need weighed immediately and they don't need any interventions.  Put that baby on your chest or belly (depending on the length of the cord if you plan on delaying clamping).  Your body is amazing and will adjust its temperature to keep your baby just right.  A blanket over both of you is more than enough.  Some babies will eat immediately, and some don't.  Don't freak out if yours is a slow "latcher".  Logan didn't latch on for a good 20-30 minutes.  On the other hand, don't be afraid to ask for help from a lactation consultant.  Sometimes there are very simple answers to your breastfeeding problem.
• Breastfeed!  I don't know what gave our generation the idea that breastfeeding is disgusting but it isn't.  It's honestly one of the most rewarding things you can do.  It's healthier for you (you burn an extra couple hundred calories while breastfeeding per day, resulting in weight loss and it can help with PPD) and it's healthier for baby.  Is it hard?  Yes.  Does it hurt?  Yes.  It will be uncomfortable in the beginning but if it's unbearable, ask for help!  Did I also mention that it's FREE? And it's an awesome way to bond with your baby skin to skin.  The first 2 weeks, I hung out in sweatpants and a robe and Logan just cuddled on my chest 24/7.  It was fantastic.
• Cosleep!  This doesn't mean you have to bedshare, or even use a bassinet.  It just means the baby is in the same room with you.  They have all sorts of sleeping furniture designed to keep y our baby close by at night.  One example is the Arm's Reach cosleepers.  It attaches to your bed and keeps your baby at hand.  We were never tired parents, Logan was a star sleeper from day 1.  Why?  Because she was just a reach away and I could feed her without anyone really waking up.  When your baby dream feeds (meaning eats while she's still asleep) she will stay asleep longer.  So what about SIDS?  I honestly never worried about SIDS because our bodies will automatically tune in to each other.  It has been speculated that babies who sleep alone in cribs don't have the pace of breathing to keep in tune with.  I kept the pillows away from her, and many times she ended up  just sleeping on my chest.  Now she sleeps next to me and I keep a pillow between her and the bedside table to keep her from rolling into anything.  She never slept between Mason & I, not because I don't trust him but because he's a heavy sleeper.  
• Wear your baby!  I've never understood women who lug around those heavy carseats.  Even with a 7 lb baby, my Chicco key fit was heavy for me (and I'm not weak by any means).  There are many ways you can carry your baby and still be hands free to do what you need to.  Logan has a beautiful round head and she has bonded very well with both Mason and I.  We even took her fishing in the first month she was born and she was in a sling the whole time.  We climbed over logs, waded through water and she was cozy and comfortable.  I've posted the different options, find one that will work for you and check out etsy.  Or make your own!  There is no reason to go buy a baby bjorn or lug the carseat. 
• Respond to your babies needs.  I've often heard older generations say how I'm spoiling my baby or she's taking advantage of me. Babies are not manipulative, they only have needs to be taken care of.  Logan is very independent because we're very responsive to her needs.  She's fed on demand, she sleeps when she's tired and she plays when she wants.  Her schedule has slowly adapted to ours and vice versa.  She's never cried it out or had to put herself to sleep alone.  Is it sometimes inconvenient?  Definitely.  But as a parent, when do you expect things to be convenient?  
• Finally, be a healthy parent.  We all know smoking and drinking are bad for your child, unborn or born.  But your diet plays a huge role in your health.  I'm not saying go organic, vegan etc., but start using moderation.  I had midnight hotdog/ice cream runs (and my huge weight gain can attest to that) but I also made smart substitutions and ate healthy alternatives as much as possible.  
 

Having a good baby isn't something we're "lucky" to have, we helped mold her into who she is.  You just have to roll with the punches.  :)

Wear your baby!

The most important thing for a new mother to do is rest. In many societies, new moms will be surrounded with family and friends for weeks to recover and bond with her baby. However, with the go go go mentality in the US and the lack of decent maternity leave for most new moms, this isn't possible. Taking at least 2 weeks and not doing anything (laundry, cleaning, cooking) is recommended because you could do damage, whether you had a baby vaginally or by Cesarean Section. So let's say you've gone two weeks and your house is now a wreck and you have a baby you can't put down without listening to screams? This is where baby wearing comes in!
Baby wearing is one of my favorite tricks to multitasking as a parent. Not only can you do what you need, many times babies are content just to be snuggled into you. You don’t have to give them the voice and eye interaction like a baby who isn’t being held or carried. You have so many options on how you want to wear your baby, including slings, wraps and mei-tais. Each option is dependant on what you want exactly and how long you plan on wearing, however you can make every one of these carriers with a basic knowledge with thread and needle. Let's break down these carriers to make it easier to choose one.


• Bag Sling

• Not recommended!
• You can't breastfeed using a bag sling (or if you can, I've yet to figure out how.)
• The most recognizable bag sling is the Infantino SlingRider baby carrier.
• These carriers basically hold the baby in a position that puts them at risk for oxygen deprivation, respiratory distress and suffocation.
• Not only does the design keep the baby's chin curled onto its chest making it harder for the baby to breath, the design also makes it very difficult to keep the baby's face away from the fabric.
• Because the sling is so deep, it's very hard to monitor what your baby is doing without stopping and opening up the sling. The point of wearing a sling is to be hands free, and having to stop and check your babies positioning is counter productive.

• Ring Slings

• This is my personal favorite.
• Allows simple breastfeeding, even for smaller babies. With the excess fabric, you can also cover yourself and skip a nursing cover if you desire.
• A ring sling is a very simple long piece of fabric with 2 rings (comparable to those ring belt "buckles") on one end that you use to tighten or loosen the fabric and change the size.
• You can make these or buy online or websites like Etsy. (Please be sure to thoroughly inspect the workmanship of anything you buy online, you're counting on this to hold your baby securely!)
• The best part about the ring sling is you can hold your baby in several different positions -- forward facing, on your hip, lying down. It's very versatile.
• The downside is it can start to hurt your back after long periods of time.
• I buy my ring slings from Etsy. My favorite seller is here.

• Wraps

• My second favorite because its so versatile.
• Allows breastfeeding in many different positions without needing a cover.
• This one you can make at home without even knowing how to sew! It’s basically a very long piece of fabric that is wrapped into different positions and your baby is tucked in.
• It can be complicated and is time consuming until you get the hang of it.
• Best for long term carrying, it doesn’t cause backaches like a ring sling if done properly.
• Youtube is your best resources with wraps – you can learn so many different wraps.
• Remember not to put your baby forward facing with their weight on their genitals. While it’s not common for this to cause complications, it can. There are plenty of other wraps to use to avoid this!
• I have a wrap from here.

• MeiTei

• A Meitei is a mix of a wrap and one of the backpack style carriers. It’s a square piece of fabric with 4 long straps from each corner. You tie the straps around you and the big square piece basically holds your baby in.
• You can wear your baby on the front or the back of your body.
• Less versatile than a wrap, but easier to put on.
• Not as easy to breastfeed in it compared to a wrap or sling.
• I personally go here to buy MeiTeis. There is also a neat pattern for a hooded one here I’d like to try.

In addition to making it easier to multitask as a new parent (yes, dad can wear the baby too and it’s a great bonding experience!) there are other benefits to baby wearing.

• Babies cry less!
Babies who are carried cry 43% on average and 54% less during the evening. Who
wouldn’t want that? Also, the difference between crying and non-crying babies in
differing countries is the ones who are carried more cry less! They’ve got something
right!
• Babies feel safe!
Babies don’t cry to take advantage of you, they cry because they need something.
Sometimes its food, or a diaper change, but often its just comfort they need. Wearing
your baby teaches your baby that you’re there to keep her safe and meet her needs.
When a baby grows up feeling safe and secure, they also become independent earlier.
• Babies learn better!
When babies are comfortable and safe, they can learn more. This happens when being
carried and changes their perspective of the world as well.
• Babies grow better!
A baby is dependent on mom for 9 months to survive and then many times they’re
expected to just figure it out. When a baby is carried (whether by mom, dad, aunt,
uncle, etc.) their bodies get in tune with yours. Your breathing, your heartbeat, your
voice all sooth and help your baby’s physically development. (especially preemies).

What to Expect When You're Expecting

If you've read this book, you must be
a) scared to death
b) laughing your butt off

I received this book at my first (and only) OB visit when I was pregnant with Logan. Anxious to be a good mommy, I read it front to cover. And wanted to hide under a rock. The author suggest such things as not jogging because it uses too much oxygen, avoiding swim caps because they could fry your baby and to gain weight steadily or you could harm your baby. The part that really got me was the epidural, basically that my provider would decide if I needed one. I'd have to buy a new copy to give you the exact wording because well -- I threw the one I received out. As with other readers, my favorite suggestion is if you have to deliver alone -- to run to your neighbors house for help or to lay on the floor on your back and wait for help. Do you see yourself laying on the floor in pain waiting for someone to show up while you push out a baby? Me neither, especially when so many other ways are proven to be safe and effective! (not to mention your instincts will take over and you'll do what you have to) This book seriously needs updating. However, since it wont be updated, there are several books out there that are much better. I've compiled a list of my personal favorites:

• The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth (Henci Goer)
• The Birth Book (Sears & Sears)
• The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth (Sheila Kitzinger)
• The Happiest Baby on the Block (Dr. Harvey Karp)
• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (Ina May Gaskin)

These are just my top 5 -- if you'd like a specific book or looking for a specific concern, please feel free to contact me and I can find something for you!

This is it!

I've been trying to decide on a blog name forever,  I hated my original one and as I was looking at movies tonight, it clicked!  The Born Ultimatum.  It fits everything I want to tell people about my experiences, being a mom, a midwife and changing the whole perspective of pregnancy labor and birth.  Now I just need to transfer over the things I feel are important and leave out the ones that aren't.  :)